Anxiety Blog 2

Anxiety in a Breakup

There’s a lot of emotions one goes through in a breakup. Amongst the tears and sighs, there’s a sense of heartbreak people often confuse for depression, though it is fair to say you’re depressed, there is a difference. However, people suffering from depression may be affected a lot more in instances like breaking up with someone. Some have even killed themselves from such an event. This blog is not is not about the depression aspect or hard feelings felt after a breakup, it is about the anxiety from multiple triggers in these events, and how to neutralize the anxiety from a first hand perspective, the millennial perspective.

After my break up I felt all of the above things and more. I was in a really low state for quite some time. The anxiety within me was more victimizing than the breakup itself however. It was hard to even contemplate getting back into the swing of things. Not only dating, but living a new routine, or my old routine. I was once again limited to my setting in White Rock, and I felt like I had no one. Especially considering the timing when I was already trying to come back from a slump, only to fall deeper into the slump with heartbreak. I stopped talking to people as much, I hid away as much as possible. I once again had issues trusting people with anything. I’d always worry about running into the now ex-girlfriend. I didn’t want to leave the house for fear that I’d see her. I was worrying about what she might say or do, or if her friends would get involved. I had asked her to leave me alone before only to be threatened by her and her new boyfriend. Since they’re theater crew, they must love drama. But then, today I ran into her. I was walking to the Skytrain after my midterm and she was coming up the hill as I was going down. She looked just as miserable as I was before, and for some reason that lifted a lot of anxiety of my shoulders. I believe it’s because nothing happened and now my fear of being harassed more by her is gone, or it could be that I finally understand the breakup took a toll on her as well. But whatever it is, when I ran into her today, I was already in a better place. I didn’t avoid her, or run away because I already fixed my anxiety about the situation, and this is how:

Step One:

Accept that situations were beyond my control.

This was a really hard one to accomplish for me. I’ve always tried to put myself in situations that I was in control of, but the reality of it is, when you really think about it. We don’t control much. In fact, out of everything that happens in our lives, we control very little. We don’t control genetics, or where we’re brought up, but we also don’t control who we run into (in my case, I couldn’t control if I ran into my ex or not) or who we meet that help take the pain away. However, we DO chose to keep those that take our pain away, or at least you should, I highly recommend it. The first step to ending my breakup anxiety was easily realizing I can’t do anything about it.

Step Two:

DISTRACTIONS

Being distracted is usually a bad thing. We distract ourselves from essay’s, work, etc. But if you have anxiety after a breakup, distractions can work wonders. My distractions were meeting new people, hanging out with friends, playing video games on my days off, and doing good deeds for others. Sometimes the best way to make yourself feel better, is to make someone else feel better. Maybe distract yourself with more structure in your life. Stick to a schedule, focus on what mattes most. Distractions are a nice way to repel negativity.

Step Three:

Write about how you feel.

I’m not sure if this works for everyone. Maybe some people don’t write ever, but it’s something I do on a daily basis. With the last blog, for example, I found simply writing my insight down helped get a lot of the breakup anxiety out of me, then I started writing more things down on the side like a journal my counselor wants me to keep. Writing about anxiety in my experience definitely helps neutralize it.

Step Four:

Remain true to who you are.

Lots of people after breakup will try and become someone else as a defense mechanism, don’t do that. It won’t help eliminate the anxiety you have, and has potential to create even more. There’s a reason someone appreciated you for who you were, and there will be people in the future appreciating you for who you are. If you decide to change, change in ways that might be productive. Change to being more mature, change to being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, be more accepting. Don’t turn into a disrespectful jerk who just wants to go out and have fun. And if you do, at least avoid alcohol, it’s a depressant after all.

Pretend to be happy if you need to.

I read somewhere that pretending to be happy is very likely to make you happier. It attracts positive energy, and negative energy is repelled. In my experience this is true because when I am down, people tend to try and lower me even more, but when I am up, everyone else is too.

My example: the last time I was down I was threatened with a gun, a knife, and mace all within two weeks.

It might be worth it to give it a shot since nobody likes to be threatened. Faking a smile could be your best weapon.

Step Five: 

Finding love in the right places.

Think about where you went wrong in your last relationship and learn from it. Also learn from how the ex might have changed throughout the relationship as their true colors started to show. Separate what you like and want to see in a person to date from negative things you wish your ex didn’t start doing. Only then should you allow yourself to see other people. You don’t want anxiety from a last relationship transferring over and causing issues with a new one. Be mature, and responsible, and think about what you need rather than what you want. Don’t break any hearts just because you don’t know what you’re doing. Be patient, and keep your chin up. All the good things you wish to see in a future spouse are in somebody out there, and they’re waiting for you.

Valve Glass?

Today I will be doing two or three blog posts. This is because there’s a lot I’ve been meaning to cover, but I’ve been  extremely busy with the new semester at Douglas College. This first blog is going to be about Valve and their step in a new direction.

 

For those of you that don’t know valve, you’re probably a member of the baby boomers, and I apologize for making you feel ill informed, but I shall enlighten you nonetheless. Valve is a video gaming company that specializes in computers, and has THE GREATEST online store for PC and Mac games anywhere called Steam. Valve has always been about taking big steps, not just in their games, but into the next world of gaming starting now.

Valve recently released a beta to what it calls “Steam TV”. This basically has your computer hooked up to your television and allows for the use of controllers a la xbox, ps3, etc. This idea is a step in a new, uncharted direction for valve, but I am sure it will work out just fine for them. Earlier this year, and even last year, people assumed that Valve was working on a top secret console on their owns, however, I believe this beta is the closest thing to that without the people being correct. Touche Valve, touche. However, people were right to ponder the typical console theories as Valve has indeed been working on some new hardware. The news about this hardware has recently been released on Kotaku, IGN, and various other great video gaming news websites, as well as The New York Times, and more. What was released is not only revolutionary, but it is what gamers have been dreaming of for many, MANY years.

 

Valve is moving into the realm of a gaming headset. What this means for gamers, as well as… well… basically everyone, is basically a step towards virtual reality. How many people can say they wish they could just put on a headset and be whisked away to another place while on break at work, or naptime for the kids? Probably everybody. This idea really takes what Google started with their Project Glass (which I brainstormed previously) and takes it in a new direction. I am excited as a millennial that in my life time, not only will this technology be released, but it will ultimately be perfected within my life as well I imagine. I am very excited for the future, and can’t wait to follow Valve on this project in particular, as well as future groundbreaking projects that I am sure will come from them as well.

For more news on Valve, follow me on Twitter @Duffladcyre to be kept up to date.

 

Technology Breakthrough.

The advancement in technology in the last three decades has been very rapid. Not only has it made things simpler in being more complex, but it has DEFINED a new generation. That generation, of course, being MY generation. This is our voice. This is the MILLENIAL PERSPECTIVE.

Technology has come a long way since the radio. Fifty years ago, nobody would have dreamed of  a network connecting the world creating THE global village in the internet. Our parents never would have thought about having a world of knowledge at our fingertips. Geologically in fact, approximately 200 years ago we had nothing for technology really, and what is 200 years in the lifespan of mother earth? Pretty much nothing. It is ASTOUNDING how far we have gotten in such little time.

Technology, specifically the most recent stuff (as it is changing every day) has made life simpler. Specifically the cell phone category. Cell phones have basically become portable computers with more going for them. My iPhone, for example, can do ALMOST everything my laptop can, plus make calls and text messaging. I can do my online banking while I am at the beach, I can check the news while I am on break at work, I can check my email on the bus, and read ragecomics while I lay in bed. People do not give enough credit to this advancement of technology, but everyone admits to one thing: They Love It.

More complex than the advancement of phones however is the even more recent breakthrough of the Cloud. The Cloud is very complex to the most of us (specifically our parents, the last Analog generation) but to simplify it, it binds all our devices into one storage location. Usually this is done through accounts, i.e: Logging into my itunes account on my laptop will bring up the same things on my iphone, my desktop, my ipad, etc. This is the ultimate in connectivity, and is certainly the future of technology.

Imagine, if you will, using the Cloud for employment, for example. Files of employees can be saved to this network, and when these employees go on to do better things, their files move with them, this may even eliminate job hunting, and may actually allow employers to find the exact employee they are searching for just by clicking a few buttons. This same system could go into policing, making the law easier to uphold worldwide, preventing criminals from running.

Certainly video gaming will adopt this technology, and in fact it has already in SONY. The Playstation 3 works on an account system similar to other Cloud devices, and so, this allows Sony more room to expand with future (and present) projects. The Vita being the newest addition to a great franchise. You can be playing a game on your PS3 one minute, and pick up right where you left off on the Vita on your way to work (if you’re busing, I don’t suggest driving and trying this). Sony if the founder of the new generation of gaming because of this, and will lead the charge for many years to come.

With this technology, however, does come with some potential of terrorism. Hacking specifically. For example, The Playstation Network was crippled by hackers in 2011, however, since then Sony has strengthened their security and hasn’t had any issues since. However, hacking is something that scares everyone who understands it, but for those that don’t I will simplify it for you. Hacking enables anyone with the determination and knowledge of programming (among other things) to access your device, network, etc. And do what they wish with it. Stealing documents, adding viruses, depending on the ability of this hacker, they could do anything with your life, in this future of technology. This is the future of Terrorism moving into the next generation, and cloud technology, and companies are aware of this, so they are coming prepared. Companies know not to bring a knife to a gun fight when it comes to their consumer being at risk. So do not fear the Cloud, embrace it, but don’t forget where we came from.